sometimes...

like today, i want to punch someone real hard. right on the mouth.

i am such a debbie downer lately, everything puts me in a bad mood. everything pushes me over the edge.
boo.

like today for example, i called my pharmacy to refill my insulin. i have BARELY enough to eat things today. just barely. so i call in and they tell me i am out of refills. strange, because last month they said the same thing. they faxed my doctor and he sent in the refill. the box my insulin came in said i had TEN REFILLS. i am not sure how it went from ten to zero, but whatever. my diabetes doctor is not practicing anymore. last month around the 24th i received a letter saying he was no longer seeing patients, and that all future appointments were cancelled. so now i have to find a new doctor. fucking awesome. i doubt anyone knows a good diabetes doctor. maybe megan facer?

anyway, i just wanted to whine some more on the internet so i hopefully don't freak out at trevor or start crying randomly.

this is how i feel right now.

i feel crazy.

stupid winter. stupid SAD. i wish that it would hurry up and be spring already. i am so antsy for it to be sunny and somewhat pleasant again. i have early spring cleaning fever too. my life feels like it is in shambles right now, i want to deep clean and organize everything, sadly, i have little time to do this. maybe i will take a day off and get rid of a lot of the crap that is in my apartment.

i am suffering big time from seasonal affective disorder this winter. so is trevor. i started taking st john's wort and iron supplements a couple of days ago. hopefully that helps a bit. and vitamin D. i should get my lazy ass to the gym, that would probably help a lot too. but one thing at a time for now.





luckily trevor and i have each other and our little beast to keep us happy. she is amazing. except when chewing through chords. that is not so nice. she is getting so big, i want her to stay small. but at the same time i am excited to see just how monstrous she is will be. trevor and i both think she is going to be a giant cat.

dance you slaves.

dance for our amusement.

happy bday papa.